Emotional, relationship, and social intelligence are essential skills for coaches. These skills are also ones coaching clients commonly want to develop.
First, let’s start with a few definitions:
- Emotional Intelligence – the ability to recognize and manage one’s own emotions.
- Relationship Intelligence – the ability to recognize and work with the emotions of another person in a one-to-one interaction.
- Social Intelligence – the ability to recognize and work with the emotions of multiple people in a way considered appropriate by the majority while with a group.
What skills are part of emotional intelligence?
- Self-Awareness – noticing your own emotions.
- Self-Regulation – managing your own emotions.
- Empathy – recognizing and understanding the emotions of others.
- Motivation – ability to inspire yourself and others to act.
- Social Skills – how you interact with other people.
How can these skills be developed?
- Review a list of emotions – start with the basic ones (Happiness, Sadness, Fear, Anger, Disgust, Surprise, Enjoyment) and expand as desired. Define each for you.
- Reflect on circumstances when you have experienced each. Think about what you experienced and the reasons. Consider how that impacted what you did.
- When you are with someone pay attention to how they seem to be feeling and reacting. If appropriate, ask them about it.
- When you are in a group, notice how different people seem to feel and are behaving. Notice whether they seem to identify with each other. Pay attention to things people do and say.
- Read novels. Yes – that is correct! Novels include descriptions about circumstances and feelings. Reading novels is one of the top ways to develop emotional intelligence!
- Write about feelings you experience and your observations of what others experience.
- Work with a coach. A coach will be your partner in the review, reflection, and awareness of emotions. A coach will support you choosing your behaviors.
Whether you are a coach, want a coach, or want to develop coaching competence, emotional, relationship, and social intelligence are valuable skills.