A Coaching Power Tool By Maurizio Salucci, Transformational Coach, ITALY
Being vs. Doing A Power Tool to Shift Your Worldview
We are raised with the idea that we should always be doing something, that we should avoid being bored at all costs, and that we should always be reflecting on how we fall short of our ideal selves.
Our mind is smart and incredibly useful: it helps us solve issues, achieve our objectives, allows us to absorb and recall information, and gives us the ability to realize our dreams. However, it can be challenging to let go of expectations, comparisons, or opinions about how things ought to be because we might become “stuck” in the goal-setting mindset.
Change is challenging because we lack a necessary component: a solid foundation on which change may be built.
The Difference Between Being vs. Doing
We operate in two basic modes, which are the reflection of core patterns in brain activity. These mental modes are the “doing mode” and the “being mode”.
We aspire to go further, lead better, and accomplish our goals. We want to get better. These are admirable motives. High-impact individuals have a strong drive to continue learning and developing. We make changes, but they never seem to last. After giving up for a time, we give it another go six months later. We attempt, give up, attempt, give up. It spirals into an endless cycle of wanting to change but failing to do so. Change is challenging because we lack a necessary component: a solid foundation on which change may be built.
The doing mode has nothing intrinsically wrong with it. In reality, this method has shown to be a highly effective general strategy for resolving issues and attaining objectives in the “cold”, external world. Therefore, it seems to make sense that when things in our private, internal worlds—our feelings, ideas, or the kind of person we perceive ourselves to be—are not going as we would like them to, we should fall back on this same doing mode.
Doing mode volunteers for a task can accomplish many aspects of our life, and as a result, our lives are improved. We refer to problematic uses of this mode as “driven-doing” in order to distinguish it from the more generic doing mode.
There is no issue if immediate action can be made to lessen a discrepancy and the activity is successful. But what if we come up with no workable answers and are unable to discover any productive courses of action? As a consequence, the mind keeps processing information in a doing mode, traveling back and forth, concentrating on the disparity, and practicing potential solutions to lessen it. And when we keep thinking about how we are not where we would like to be, it just makes us feel worse and pushes us further away from our ideal outcome.
Disengaging from a busy mind is part of being mode. The mind has nothing to do, nowhere to go, and is not burdened by either internal or external forces in this condition of existence. It has the capacity to completely concentrate on the current moment and engage with immediate sensory inputs. Anywhere and at any moment, everyone may practice this approach.
Even when we start to feel like we are just “being,” the doing mode will frequently try to reassert itself and take control of our thinking. Even though this could be annoying, there must eventually be a balance between the two states. While the doing mode encourages concentrated attention and automatic responses for some jobs, there are other moments when we could really use the calm and tranquillity of just being.
In order to be mode, one must practice acceptance. In that you lack the motivation to accomplish any objectives or find solutions to any issues, it may be viewed as the polar opposite of the driven—doing mode. Your mind simply “be” in the present moment, disengaging from any preconceived notions of future consequences, past events, or goals. This can help us improve our ability to tolerate unpleasant or challenging mental states.
Being and doing have different temporal focuses. When deciding how to proceed, we frequently need to consider the possible future effects of various options, speculate about what may occur if we achieve our objective, or recall instances in the past when we had to cope with situations that were similar. As a result, when in doing mode, the mind frequently jumps ahead to the future or back to the past, giving the impression that the person is frequently not “here” in the present. The mind has “nothing to do, nowhere to go” in being mode, which enables us to completely concentrate on our experiences as they happen. This allows us to be totally present and aware of whatever is happening at the moment. Thinking in the doing mode entails linking the past, present, and future to one another through a conceptual framework. Contrarily, being in mode is defined by a direct, immediate, and personal experience of the present.
Being in mode is not a unique condition where all activities must cease. There are two mental states that can go along with every action or inaction: doing and being. This idea might be more evident if you think back to the specific term we assigned the problematic mode of doing, “driven doing.”
Being vs. Doing Distinction in Coaching
Making the distinction between doing and being is crucial in coaching. Doing is concerned with the client’s actions, choices, behaviors, and all of its outward expressions. The “who” is connected to being. It’s their traits, way of thinking, and mentality. It’s their pattern of worldview, their set of assumptions about who they are and how they fit within it.
As was previously said, when we decide to make a change, we often start from the Doing level. We make an effort to attempt new things or to do things in a different way. However, we haven’t generally focused on the Being level. As a result, the change is short-lived, and we wind up going back to our previous defaults. Therefore, no matter what we strive to alter in our brains or what we change in our exterior lives, we continue to behave in a way that resists the present.
Say your goal is to become more organized. You might alter your behavior to address your issue by adding procedures and processes to your project or creating frameworks for your funds. However, your fundamental idea is undoubted that you desire a sense of certainty and control. You want assurance that everything will turn out for the best. The issue with doing this is organization. The Being problem is how to handle ambiguity.
Perhaps you’d want to feel less worried and calmer. Meditating, writing, and practicing yoga are the best instant solutions. Even if you attempt to unwind, the nagging feeling that you need to be doing more or something more useful will never go away. That’s because your feeling of identity is inextricably linked to productivity on a deeper level. You thus believe that you must demonstrate your worth in each circumstance. But deep down, you’re afraid of what you’ll discover if you pause for air. Problem-solving causes tension, weariness, and burnout. Unconscious yearning for struggle is the Being dilemma.
One also has a propensity to become enmeshed in significant professional and life objectives, as well as difficult initiatives, while they are stuck in the doing mindset. Furthermore, they might be so demanding that it can be easy to ignore or forget about everything else, including your health and well-being. The activities and interests that feed you are then avoided. Giving up these things might gradually sap your inner reserves, leaving you feeling tired and fatigued in the end.
Strong, lasting transformation is produced at the Being level.
Questions Around The“Driven-Doing Mode”
- How do you know that to be true?
- What happens if/when you focus only on what you are doing?
- I am hearing “have to,” “must,” “should,” and “need to”, what’s behind those words? Or, What are those words telling you to do?
- What are your thoughts when you rush through activities?
- How do you feel when you rush through activities? How do you want to feel instead?
- What do you think would help you stay in the present moment?
How to Shift to Being Mode
Here are a few pointers on how to cultivate a state of just being and shift from Driven-Doing mode to Being mode:
- Connect with your thoughts in an observant, non-judgmental manner;
- Focus on the many bodily sensations, sounds, scents, and tastes that are present. Think about the ideas these sensory impressions have given you;
- Pay attention to how things are changing right now. For instance, when you hear a sound, mark the moment when it stops being audible.
- Practice many common mindfulness techniques, such as mindful breathing, to develop your awareness of the present moment.
Your world won’t change if you don’t alter your point of view.
Crush your own presumptions in order to escape the pressure of the situation.
Take care of your being, and let the doing follow.