Want to know the one sentence that made me over $100K?
It all started when my coach said the following to me…
“You’ve got to correct your language.”
And, over the next few years, that ONE SENTENCE made me over $100K.
Sound implausible? It’s ABSOLUTELY true.
I was in a session with Matt (my coach)…
…talking about money issues (a common subject of concern for me at the time)…
…and, more specifically, how I wanted to make more money.
And THAT’s when I said it…
“I’m not much of an investor… I don’t understand investing very well.”
And then Matt said “Wait. Stop right there.”
ME: “What??”
MATT: “You’ve got to correct your language.”
Did you catch what Matt heard in what I said?
I’ll rewind the coaching session a bit more for context…
ME: “I could get the money by expanding my own business, or coaching practice…
…or I could help my wife make more money with her business.”
“I used to try to make money investing.”
“I could try investing again…
…but I’m not really much of an investor, because I’m not very good at numbers.”
Notice that I was focused on HOW I would produce the result.
I figured if I knew HOW it was going to happen…
…I could more easily MAKE it happen.
Most of your clients are addicted to knowing “how” to do something…
…rather than WHY.
…rather than the MINDSET.
…rather than the beliefs, values, or emotions that could be stopping them.
Most of your clients are addicted to knowing “how” to do something…rather than WHY.…rather than the MINDSET.…rather than the beliefs, values, or emotions that could be stopping them.”
(Back to what I told my coach…)
“…I’m not really much of an investor, because I’m not very good at numbers.”
“So I just need to do better in my career so I can make more money.”
“That investing thing…
…I don’t think it’s for me.”
After listening patiently…
Matt chimed in with ONE SENTENCE…
“You’ve got to correct your language.”
“You’ve got to correct your language.”“
“What are you talking about?” I asked.
MATT: “You said that you’re ‘not good at numbers’ and that you’re ‘not much of an investor’…
…but you need to say that ‘you’re getting better at this investing thing’…
…or that you’re ‘becoming a good investor’.”
“If you say that you’re ‘not good’, or that ‘investing’s not for you’…
…you automatically MAKE THAT TRUE through your emotions, beliefs, and values.”
First I was surprised & jarred by what my coach said.
Where were the probing, powerful questions?
Where was the unconditional agreement?
Empathy?
Encouragement?
Certainly his method violated one of the core coaching competencies?!
But, after my initial reaction, I instantly appreciated Matt’s coaching.
HOW I was going to make more money didn’t matter…
…if my LANGUAGE disempowered me.
As long as I used that disempowering language:
- I wouldn’t look at the numbers
- I couldn’t appreciate investments
- I couldn’t be halfway decent at investing
…I could never even TRY to make investing possible for me.
I corrected my language immediately.
I said “I’m not yet a great investor…
…but I can learn to do it…
…and I’m open to the possibility of becoming better and better at investing.”
After that ‘one sentence’ coaching session…
…something extraordinary happened to me.
I started looking at investments for a few hours each weekend.
I ‘Googled’ and scoured websites.
I watched hundreds of hours of investing education on YouTube.
I purchased investing services and courses.
I analyzed real investments on my own.
I shared my progress with friends and family members.
Finally, I decided which investments were best for me…
…and purchased a few, real, significant investments.
Responsibly.
Calmly.
Intelligently.
There was one unforgettable day when I purchased a particular investment.
I received five checks with thousands of dollars of instant returns.
Subsequent months continued to deliver tens of thousands of additional passive income.
As you might imagine, the language in my next coaching session with Matt changed radically…
“I’m an investor! I have a different level of abundance than ever before.”
Those moments when I saw the cash flowing into my account made me realize…
That ONE SENTENCE from my coach…
In that ONE COACHING SESSION…
…changed my entire investment approach.
…which changed my financial destiny.
…which changed my life.
I realized what was possible after getting such SIMPLE coaching on my LANGUAGE.
It was my LANGUAGE that changed my course.
And NONE of that cash would have shown up in my bank account…
…had it not been for such a radical course correction on my investment journey.
I’d estimate my investments have rendered over $100K in additional returns so far.
The money is nice.
But, more important than that…
…is the LESSON I’ve learned (in the most intense way you could imagine)…
Your words matter.
Your words create meaning.
Your words create your emotions.
Your words create your beliefs.
Your words alter your actions.
Your words are your world.
Your results stem from words.
Your words expand or reduce possibilities.
Words can create power and real results…
…or words can limit you.
Words can create power and real results…or words can limit you.”
The more you use words that limit you…
…the more you’ll limit whatever area of your life those words apply to.
The more your words empower and expand what’s possible for you…
…the more you’ll realize your dreams.
The more your words empower and expand what’s possible for you…the more you’ll realize your dreams.“
So, thanks to my coach, Matt, for challenging me on my limiting language.
Which gave me NEW WORDS upon which to build a NEW FUTURE.
If Matt hadn’t done that, I would not have seen the life I now have.
(not to mention the possibilities for my future)
You’re the coach who can do the same with your coaching clients.
You can change your client’s life…
…by helping them to change a few words.
Listen deeply to your client.
Notice their language:
What are the meanings that their words create?
Imagine each meaning stemming from your client’s language…
…could be plotted on a spectrum between EMPOWERING and DISEMPOWERING:
What kind of empowering or limiting factors might your client’s language bring to their life?
What are some ways they might improve how their language impacts their life?
Why does empowering language matter to your client?
Because empowerment is the name of the game for them.
Empowerment allows your client to:
- Be who they want to be.
- Do what they need to do.
- Have what they want to have.
You could plot my old language around investing on the disempowering end, while my new language is more empowering…
Now imagine plotting each meaning that your client’s language creates…
…on another axis between FANTASY and REALITY…
Does your client really believe what their language is implying?
Does your client really think that way?
Is it authentic? or, do they know what they’re saying is a lie?
What your client is saying… is it true and real? or, is it more fantasy?
What is REALLY true that your client can elucidate with better language?
Why does real / authentic language matter to your client?
Because words are your client’s targeting method.
If their words aren’t accurate, your client will always be off target.
False language won’t allow your client to adjust when they’re off target.
Untrue or inaccurate language eventually becomes what your client BELIEVES.
False language warps reality…
…inevitably becoming a web of lies for your client.
Beliefs become the lens through which your client sees the world.
That lens shapes the next belief…
…which becomes a lens that further shapes more beliefs.
I’ve coached clients who are so caught up in their web of lies, that they can’t escape it.
They go on to imprison their friends, family, and associates in that web of lies.
All that suffering was because my client couldn’t see through the muddy waters of their language.
At that point, as their coach, I have to help them see through those muddy waters.
SOME of my old language around investing would’ve been plotted on the FANTASY end, while other aspects were true (albeit disempowering).
(And some of my new language was absolutely true.)
When you explore these questions around language with your client…
…you build a ‘language council’.
A partnership to stand guard at the door of your client’s mind…
…so only the most empowering and authentic thoughts enter.
All the other delusional, hopeless, and hurtful ideas can still exist…
…but they stay outside your client with the rest of the junk.
As a result, your client discovers breakthroughs waiting for them, whether it be in their relationships, finances, career, or health (or any other area that matters to them).
So, correct your language!
Help your clients correct their language!
It’ll make a bigger and better life for everyone you touch.
Jeffrey “Correct Your Language” Sooey
Jeffrey T. Sooey
Dean, Master Coach University
Founder, Coaches Training Blog community
